tokyotomato:

i didn’t do a single thing i was supposed to over break

image

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breakingbag:

yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out

264,458 notes

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

592,272 notes

holysimba:

Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you

*goes home and cries*

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shego:

people who laugh so hard at their own jokes that they can’t even finish the joke because they’re laughing so hard are my favorite kind of people

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photosynthesexual:

running-hunting-deducing:

sherdoor:

smallnico:

if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn

except 

if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus

that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve

so what happened when triplets were born 

Steve, Not Steve, Definitely Not Steve.

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I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.
― Virginia Woolf (via aseeyax)

(Source: sasset)

43,242 notes